Funny Quotes

The following are just some funny quotes I came across when I was surfing the web. I started searching "NHL lockout" on Google and ended up on some random site with some pretty funny stuff. I think I am going to start posting a new funny quote weekly. Enjoy!

A recent police study found that you are much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Grey Cup Preditions

If you watch the CFL, you know it's impossible to predict anything in the league. But now it's time to predict who is going to win the Grey Cup right? Well if you ask me, I predict Toronto to win by a long shot. I am not a sports analyst by any stretch, but home field advantage plays a huge factor in my theory. Like BC last year, I feel like Toronto will win at home, and it's only fitting considering they won the first ever grey cup, to win again on the 100 year anniversary. I'll be honest, I hope the Stamps win, but I just don't think they will be able to. I guess we will find out on Sunday for sure!

Reading Reflection #5 (iPhone)

Character iPhone.... Orin Boyd

Apps,

Hangman- I chose this app because Orin Boyd is constantly thinking of suicide and hanging himself. I think it would kind of be ironic to see this app on his phone, but for some reason I think he would have it.
Alcoholic's Anonymous- I chose this app because Orin is constantly having troubles with alcohol in the novel. He is open about being an alcoholic, but won't even consider getting treatment.
Dictionary- Orin is not the smartest guy around, and throughout the novel, I seem to get the impression he isn't very literate. Throughout the novel, the other characters seem to use complex words around Orin, and I think a dictionary would be helpful for him.
Flashlight- Orin always seems to find himself in dark alleys or hallways, and he always lights a match so he can see where he is going, I think a flashlight app would help him a lot in those predicaments.
Survival App- Orin always says, there is nothing more to life then survival, and he always claims he could survive in any environment. I chose this app, because I think Orin know's himself he couldn't survive in any circumstance and this app would probably become in handy sometime.
ESPN- I chose this app because Orin loves football, and he is always checking up on the score and standings.
Music- Orin's only real soft spot is music, and I feel it's very important to help him get through hard times.
Learn to  Swim- Ironically enough, at the beginning of the novel, Orin falls into a pool and doesn't know how to swim. He needs to learn.
18000 Lame Jokes- I chose this app because Orin is the king of lame jokes, I started to question where he gets them all from
Anger App- Orin always seems to have some sort of built up anger inside of him. The only was he can let it out is by breaking stuff. I think this app would actually help him, so he can break virtual things, not everything else when he is angry.

On the back of Orin's phone, I chose to draw lady liberty and the quote "justice for all" Orin seems to think the law revolves around him, so I think lady justice is appropriate. In a way, there is even some imagery to that in the novel, when Orin is pictured in this one scene, blindfolded with a knife in his hand. Law is something that is part of Orin's everyday life, and something he strives to control. I think it's only fitting for him to carry this image around, on his phone.

Reading Reflection # 9

Twitter fiction is going pretty good so far... I have no real complaints. As of yesterday I have 20 of my 30 tweets completed, but I think I will need some more to finish my story. Finding something I could get myself excited to write about was the hardest part. I think that's because I don't normally write stories, especially stories where one thought has to be limited to 140 characters. I am however kind of surprised with how smoothly my story flows, I had expected it to be the complete opposite, and more choppy. My story is based around a man who gets lost while out hiking. I don't want to give it all away, but lets just say, he's lucky if he gets out alive. The character development is my story is pretty slow, and I am trying to see what I can do to speed it up. I don't want to give everything about the protagonist away just yet, but I feel the reader's need to know certain things about him right off the hop. One other aspect I am finding a little tricky is staying completely to what's important in the story. As an author, I like to throw things at the reader that they don't suspect, but I find myself limiting this, just due to the fact it holds no real importance. I chose to go with the more extended short story because I feel, I cant get a decent piece of work out of just 3 tweets.

As for, the VAKS'ing, I found that very easy to include into my story. Maybe my writing style is just that way, but I had no difficulties with that what so ever. Dialogue was a little bit more tricky, being that I had to focus more on what was important. I find myself making the character's speech very black and white, and I think I am going to try and add some personality to what they have to say. Today we looked at the so what? in class. I like to think, the moral of my story is pretty clear, but the true test will come when someone else reads it. This week I plan to finish up my rough draft and move on to editing and finalizing. I think I have some ideas of pictures I will add to my story already, but I will keep those a surprise until later.

MLIA

I came across this #MLIA (M Life Is Average) when I was exploring twitter. I think there are almost a mash up between rambling autobiographies and 6 word memoirs, plus they are super random but fun to read. Here are a couple I really liked

Writing Reflection (Newspaper Blackout)

Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed the newspaper blackout poetry, and to be honest I have never like any sort of poetry before. At first, I found it difficult to make a poem out of a newspaper article, but when I started just taking out words that appealed to me, the rest of the poem seemed to come together. The hardest part for me was flow throughout the poem and at times it seemed the words I chose made the poem choppy. I think at that point I was being too specific on my word selection. I started picking different words, and mostly words that could transition thoughts and ideas. I mean all the words were there, it was just a matter of picking the right ones. As for my poems, I was very happy with how they turned out. What surprised me the most was how I could transform an article into something unique and completely different then the original. The only other difficulty I had was finding the right article. I think lots of news articles nowadays, lack in rich vocabulary, and I think that's something poetry strives for. To make a good poem, I needed an article with some personality, and something that didn't just state the facts. I learnt as a writer, the article was just a starting point for the poem. It was almost like a puzzle you put together yourself using the words. I think, I showed myself I can be more creative then I thought I was, and I am really proud of how my poems turned out.

Blackout Poetry 3

Like nobody else,
The Canadian
A resident alien of
Extraordinary ability
and someone unique.
Canada
My home
Canada is the best,
And living here
I can,
I'll be able to.